Have You Ever?

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you were a completely different person?
If you never became friends with the people you care about the most?
If you never moved a day in your life?
If you moved to a different place?
If you had different morals?
If you had different feelings?

There are so many things I wish never happened or would happen.
Obviously, they've made me who I am today...

But honestly, I don't think I like who I am today.
Sure, I've got my friends and family who I care for very much, but do they care for me?
I know some of them do, or else I wouldn't be in school.
I wouldn't be going to check out a college I've been wanting to attend.
I wouldn't be fun to be around. At least, I hope people feel that way...

I have the very few people in my life that I can be myself around, without judgement.
Everyone else? Judged. Even some of my best friends judge me like there's no tomorrow.
I don't know. I may be over-thinking things. I probably shouldn't even have to think about it at all.

So late, just got back from karaoke...brought up my day a bit.
Bedtime.

Love,
Brittany Lauren

Where is She?

Where is the little girl that would run around and sing Barney songs?
Where is the girl that had a smile on her face everyday, and had no worries.

She's still here...somewhat.

She's still running around, only to try and lose weight.
She's still singing, to herself.
She has a smile on her face everyday, but the majority of them are fake.
And now, she worries all the time.

I can't wait to be happy again...

Hopefully, things will work out this time.